Sunday, November 18, 2012

One Month To Live

So what do you do when you find out someone you love only has one month to live? If you are me, you go through waves of emotions that you now feel certain will continue to rise and fall for years to come. And then you decide it would be a good time to pour out your soul, again, because you know there is someone, somewhere that will read your story and find some much needed hope.

When the doctor said three months and at the most one year, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I couldn't breathe. Then I felt the sting of tears as they started to well up in my eyes. I was supposed to be there for support, but somehow the tables turned on me and I ended up being the one who needed it.

I realized at that moment what it felt like to have someone try to blow sunshine up your ass. I also realized at that moment I had been a "sunshine blower", but I honestly thought I was boldly showing that I had faith. I now know that having faith is not saying to that mountain move, but knowing that if it doesn't, God will give the strength needed to climb it.

It was not my own idea to read the book One Month To Live, it was their idea for me to read it with them. It was my idea to blog about it, because I have a feeling that this will be a month I will not want to forget.

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