It seems like for every two steps I take forward I take one step back. I know other people feel this way. It's not just me, it's just the way life is, but just once I'd like to take two steps forward and stay there for a little while and then take another step forward instead of taking a step back. Maybe I'm taking a step back physically, but emotionally and spiritually I'm taking a step forward. That could be why it doesn't feel like I'm taking two steps back for every step forward I take. Then again there are some days when I do feel like I've taken two steps back and only one step forward.
Maybe life isn't a race. Maybe it's just trying to get to the other side of the dance floor without stepping on toes or falling on your butt. Of course, you know you're going to step on some toes and you're going to fall on your butt a couple of times. Eventually, you'll learn to ask for forgiveness and when you fall you'll learn to get back up.
For the past few weeks I've been working at the grocery store down the street. The job itself isn't hard. Relating to the people I work with is tough. There's a girl that I work with and she's in a situation where she could lose her job. I understand what she's going through because I've been faced with changing that part of my life, only I wasn't working somewhere where it would determine if I lost my job or not. I had a different reason why I wanted to change.
It's easy to think that if God was God then He could fix the situation, but because God is God, He may not. My heart ached for her because she was already trying to make a change for the better without the prompting of anyone, but she didn't decide to do that soon enough. I know for myself it seems like sometimes when I decide to do something to change for the better something will happen and I wonder why I even bothered trying when it's too late anyway. Sometimes it's later on down the road when hindsight is better than foresight that I'm glad I changed even if it wasn't for the same reasons I had before. I don't know her relationship with God, so I told her the only thing I knew to tell her, what I'd learned from my own experience...whenever God shuts one door, He always opens another. It may not be a door we like at the time, but He doesn't make us feel like we've changed for no reason.
Yesterday, I had to drop by the store to get Marina some posterboard. After working with her the night before and her being upset all night, it surprised me that she was all smiles when I walked in. She told me that she wasn't worried anymore, that another door had been opened so no matter how things worked out, it was going to be okay.